- New
Burn time is the supplier’s figure. Our own guideline is 5–7 hours per ounce on a single wick.
About this candle
Overview
A witty desk drop or retirement gift that keeps on burning. This Cedar Crate Market candle features a playful "Retirement Forecast: Sunny With A Chance Of Golf" label on a compact 9 oz jar, making it perfect for office exchanges, Secret Santa, or anyone celebrating their next chapter.
Why You'll Love This Candle
- Hand-poured natural soy wax with cotton wick for a clean, even burn
- Bamboo Forest blend: bamboo, cypress, and cedar notes create a green, woody warmth
- 45+ hours of burn time—enough for weeks of relaxing evenings
- Compact 2.75" × 3.5" size fits seamlessly on desks, nightstands, and bathroom shelves
- Phthalate-free, non-toxic, vegan, cruelty-free, and non-GMO
- Hand-poured in small batches in Minnetonka, Minnesota—made in the USA
Frequently Asked Questions
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Is this Funny Candle a good office gift?
Yes. At 9 oz, it fits most gift budgets and reads as a genuine present rather than filler. The humorous label makes it ideal for someone's last day, Secret Santa, or a colleague you'd like to honor. -
How long will the candle burn?
Expect 45+ hours based on typical 2–3 hour burn sessions. That's roughly an entire winter of evenings for someone who lights it a few times weekly. -
Where can I place a small candle like this?
The compact dimensions make it perfect for crowded desk shelves, bathroom windowsills, and bedside tables where larger candles won't fit. -
Is soy wax safe for small spaces?
Soy burns cooler than paraffin and produces no petroleum soot, making it ideal for compact rooms. Simply crack a window during use.
Shipping & returns
Orders leave our US warehouse in 1–3 business days. Items from different makers may arrive in several parcels, each with its own tracking.
Funny Candles - Retirement Forecast Sunny With Golf, 9 oz
Woody · 9 oz
Shipping calculated at checkout.
Smells like: Fresh green woods with cypress and cedar warmth
- Soy wax
- Cotton wick
- Burn within sight, away from drafts, children and pets
Candle care
Four habits that decide how long it lasts-
Trim the wick
About 5 mm before every burn. A long wick makes a tall flame, and a tall flame smokes the glass.
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Let the first burn finish
Two to three hours, until the melted wax reaches the edge. Wax remembers its first pool — cut it short and it tunnels for good.
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Stop at four hours
Longer and the glass gets hot and the scent flattens. Retire the candle when about 1 cm of wax is left.
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Keep the jar
Hot soapy water lifts the last of the wax — soy softens at a much lower temperature than paraffin. Then it is a pot, a tumbler, a planter.
- Trim the wick to about 5 mm before every burn.
- First burn: let the pool reach the edge, roughly two to three hours.
- Never burn for more than four hours at a stretch, and stop at 1 cm of wax.
- Keep it in sight, on a heat-resistant surface, away from drafts, children and pets.
We sell fragrance for pleasure, not for treatment. Nothing here is intended to diagnose, treat, cure or prevent any disease, and no candle or diffuser purifies the air. These statements have not been evaluated by the Food and Drug Administration.
If a scent gives you a headache or sets off asthma, that is a real reaction — stop using it and open a window.